Hi Everyone,

I am in the process of selling many of my puzzles away in the Marketplace. I have personally moved onto other hobbies such as guitar and a few others.

Because I am can be a shy person I decided that putting a song on Youtube may be the easiest route to get actual feedback. I'd love to receive your comments on youtube or twistypuzzles. Please be nice.

Thanks.

You can check my song out at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5KcwwqaGiw&feature=plcp


~ We should always be in a state of continual growth ~

I haven't heard from anyone yet. I was hoping to get a little more feedback from the community. I would truly appreciate it.

Cheers,

Kitslam

I like it man, I had to read the lyrics cause it was a bit hard to hear you over the guitar, but it was still pretty awesome. You seem like you would be a pretty cool dude IRL.

Do you really want "actual" feedback, as you say, or "please be nice" feedback?

Near: Thanks yo, I appreciate that.

Kelvin S: Any feedback at all. I wan't to develop my artistic reach in different arenas and music is one of those. I've been writing little jingles, and songs for a while now but haven't really shown anyone. So feedback of any kind, encouragement, criticisms about the song, video, ect. might give me an idea of what I could do to improve. I suppose if you really can't stand the song and your comment is going to sound hurtful than please PM me. Cheers!

So, here some constructive feedback:

The song itself is not too bad as many great songs are written about odd subjects with wierd lyrics, but (here goes) I think the melody is a little flat/repetitive, while the aggressive guitar strumming kills it. Slow down. Focus on the melody/vocals without any guitar at all, and then bring in the guitar to support the vocals with an intertwining melody that listens to and talks with your voice rather than shouting over it. A song is a harmonic and melodic conversation between voice and instrument, not an argument or competition between the two to be heard. But right now, it sounds more like the latter. All good conversations involve pauses with one listening to the other. You need to relax, and build it up slowly with more purpose, melody and harmony. Hope that helps.

Disclaimer: I have never written a song in my life and can't even play an instrument, so my "advice" is really only a personal gut reaction to the song. Main thing is to enjoy the creative process for yourself and ignore what other people think (including me), then I am sure something will come out of it that people will really enjoy listening to, like a great conversation.

PS. Many great singer-songwriters are introverts, including Freddie Mercury believe it or not, so don't worry about being shy and just focus on enjoying what you do.