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 Post subject: My 1000th postPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 6:07 am

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 12:00 am
Location: Jarrow, England
I know this it trite, but I couldn't resist marking my 1000th post with my own topic. Trouble is, I was struggling to think of something worthwhile, so I just did this instead.

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1000 = 2^3 x 5^3
1000 = 1111101000 (binary)
1000 = M (Roman)
1000 = kilo (SI)
1000 = 1 x 10^3 (scientific)
1000 = sum of Euler's totient function over the first 57 integers
1000 = years in a millenium
1000 = words for a picture
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Death by 1000 cuts was an horrific form of Chinese torture.
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The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet you £1000 that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
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A big Crime Boss, accompanied by his lawyer, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Boss asks the accountant, "Where is the £1000 you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer.

The Boss asks again, "Where is the £1000 you embezzled from me?"

The lawyer interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Boss says, "Well ask him where my damm money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks the accountant where the £1000 is.

The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer interprets to the Boss, "He doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Boss pulls out a gun, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!"

The lawyer signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! The money is hidden in a brown envelope behind the shed in my garden!"

The Boss says, "Well....what did he say?"

The lawyer interprets to the Boss, "He says ...go to hell... that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
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A student comes back to the dorm and finds his roommate near tears.

"What's the matter pal?" he asked.

"I wrote home for my parents to send £1000 so that I could buy a laptop."

"So I guess they said no?" the student asked.

"No, they sent me the laptop," the roommate moaned.
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 Post subject: Re: My 1000th postPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 4:22 pm

Joined: Sun May 29, 2011 2:56 pm
Location: New York
Gus wrote:
A big Crime Boss, accompanied by his lawyer, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Boss asks the accountant, "Where is the £1000 you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer.

The Boss asks again, "Where is the £1000 you embezzled from me?"

The lawyer interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Boss says, "Well ask him where my damm money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks the accountant where the £1000 is.

The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer interprets to the Boss, "He doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Boss pulls out a gun, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!"

The lawyer signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! The money is hidden in a brown envelope behind the shed in my garden!"

The Boss says, "Well....what did he say?"

The lawyer interprets to the Boss, "He says ...go to hell... that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

My favorite one!
Anyway, congrats on 1000.

-Doug

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